Break it gently or be brutally honest? Oh, well… what difference does it make? Either way, I know I’m going to hurt her. And seeing her sad will be the death of me…
To begin with, am I still living? After the old folks and the big guys talked to me about us, I’ve been walking dead. Send me to war and I won’t back down. Or maybe on my next project I’d rather they use real bullets on me… Yes, at this moment, death is sweeter than this choice— this path she and I have to take…
Rest In Peace, Soldier of Love. You have used the most powerful weapon and force in the world but you lost. Respect and sacrifice won the battle…
“Lalim ng iniisip mo, ah.”
I didn’t realize she was in front of me. I smiled and held her hand. She sat beside me, her smile never fading as she instinctively responded to my touch, clasping my hand tightly against hers.
“Okay ka lang ba?”
I nodded, looking straight at her sparkling eyes. I’ve always admired her for being so passionate at what she does. She looks tired but happy. And knowing that I added up to that happiness by being there I’m glad.
I watched the rehearsals for her repeat concert. She just took a short break before we went here at the studio, to practice some of the routines for our production number for her show on Sunday. If it’s possible, I would want this day disappear in the calendar. Not because I don’t want to be with her but because I wouldn’t be with her again. The past hours I would consider the longest hours of my whole life, and once we talk I have yet to imagine myself how I’ll be able to bring up more of the agony.
“You were amazing. Excited na ako para sa concert mo and for this Sunday,” I complimented her like I always do. Every move she makes, the way she sings, the sound of her voice— everything about her has always mesmerized me. Like right now, I’ve always enjoyed watching her from afar. But after this even I don’t know if I’ll be able to do that again…
“Thank you. Kinakabahan pa rin talaga ako,” she looked at me and held my face. I always loved it when she does that…
“May problema ba?”
I looked around and found we were the only ones left at the studio. My throat constricted. This, by far is on the top list of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my whole life.
“I have something to tell you…”
She sighed and tried to smile. “Ako rin, may sasabihin ako sa iyo. Pero ikaw muna.”
I held both her hands and alternately kissed them. I intertwined my fingers with hers, on which mine fitted perfectly, while trying my damnedest best not to cry.
“You should do it soon,” the TV and Movie God’s voice was suddenly in my head again, like a broken record playing.
“I know it will be hard for you, for her, but,” he shook his head, appearing sad for us as he could. “If you don’t do this there wouldn’t be anything for you for the rest of the year, and early next year… except for the Sunday show, the upcoming movie and your indie film, wala na talagang iba.”
I clenched my fist and hid it under the table. I feel like hitting him but I’ve been raised a good man. Isa pa, I don’t bite the hands that feed me.
Back then my thoughts went pitch black. Blangko. I didn’t know what to say or do. They expect us to sever whatever ties we have just like that; and the sooner, the better. This is life in the business. Most people think we enjoy the fame, the money, the glamour and being always under the spotlight. They don’t know that no matter how much we earn, we are still just mere employees just like the majority of the rest of the world. They make rules, we follow. They build or break us. And it’s up to us which we choose. For me there’s no getting out of this Rat Race yet. The bigger the circle gets, the harder this endless race gets…
“Hey… ano ba? Bakit ganyan ang itsura mo?”
My mind went back to her. There was this worried frown on her forehead. I swallowed a few times before speaking. “Gusto ko lang malaman mo…” I removed the strands of hair framing her face, my fingers touching her cheeks gently.
“…that the last few months I got to know you more… those times I was able to be with you have given me the happiest days of my life.”
She beamed. “Same here.”
I closed my eyes tightly. Instantly her hand was on my face again. Pressing it gently, I took a deep breath and look her in the eye. “I’m sorry… if I wouldn’t be able to spend time with you like before…”
There was deafening silence for a while. Then she answered softly, “Naiintindihan ko…”
She stood up and I followed. I put my arms around her, stopping myself from embracing her so tight. “Thank you for all the things you taught me…”
I sucked my breath once, twice. Panic suddenly was in her eyes. I couldn’t look at her so I pulled her closer and kissed her temple. I whispered, “Tama ka. It should be clear to us which to prioritize first…”
She tensed. Then I feel her nodding slowly. I was sure realization dawned on her and that somehow I can see she was expecting this. At that moment, I wished the earth below us cracked open and consume us— take us to another world where we can love each other freely…
“Akala ko naman kung ano na’ng sasabihin mo.” She said with a smile. She got away from my embrace. It suddenly felt empty— literally, figuratively.
“Thank you rin…”
My heart sank when she said that. Her eyes suddenly turned misty.
“For… for what?”
She laughed softly and walked to where her things are. She grabbed her bag and went to the door. “Para sa lahat… sa lahat-lahat…”
I bowed my head and turned my back on her. Here it goes… my tears finally fell.
“M—mauna na ako.” She said while she opened the door. I can feel her eyes on my back. “Sunod ka na lang sa baba. Have dinner before you leave.”
I quickly wiped my tears and turned around, recovering my weakening resolve. “I’d love to pero kailangan ko na ring umalis agad. May pupuntahan pa akong meeting.”
“Ganoon ba?” she bit her lip. I noticed her gripping the door knob tightly, as if drawing strength from it. “Then, I’ll go ahead. See you sa Sunday.”
“Wait,” I walked closer but not close enough to hold her. I could imagine crushing her in my arms if I did.
“Ano ‘yung sasabihin mo sa akin?”
“Ah,” she flashed me a wide smile though it didn’t reach her eyes. “I just want to remind you na dapat agahan mo sa Sunday. Okay? Bye.”
For a moment I wasn’t able to move. It’s been minutes since she left but I was still standing there, staring at the door as if anytime she would return and run into my arms.
“Here we go again, boy…” I was down on the floor. I put my elbows to my knees and held my head with both hands. ‘I am my own man now’, my ass. After all I’ve been through; I thought I’ve learned enough. I believed I can now fight for my happiness unlike before. I was wrong…
~“To my beautiful Princess,”
In the box of his birthday gift for me I found a letter. I went to the washroom and decided to read it there, while I kept crying for what happened tonight.
“Happy birthday! You are truly blessed this year! I’m sure that you will be blessed more in the years to come because you are such an inspiration to many people. I am glad I got to be a part of this celebration and I am hoping that somehow, I’ll always be a part of the most important celebrations and occasions in your life.
I thank God for giving me a friend like you, for giving me the opportunity of knowing an incredible person like you. Thank you because you made me realize I am complete on my own. I’ve discovered a lot of things about myself and that made me a better man. For that I’m forever grateful, for the things I learned from you that made me the person I am today…”
I tried to control my cries. I covered half of my face while I continued sobbing quietly, scared that someone might hear me.
Why are you so miserable? I asked myself. Isn’t this what you both want? Didn’t you tell him you wanted to keep your friendship?
Yes, I said that. I managed to say that not prepared to gather my heart slashed into pieces. It’s difficult to accept that the only way I could keep him is for him to be my friend… nothing more.
I got the letter wet with my tears. I continued reading though some words got blurred.
“My gift for you is also my wish for you— I wish you have time for yourself. You’d always hoped for me that I’ll find my happiness soon. You are right; it’s difficult for us to find it in this world we live in. But I’ll keep striving and I hope you will, too. Being happy is having time freedom— to do what we want to do, to say what we want to say; to be with the people we like to be with, to be with the person we love. Real happiness means being fulfilled not in just one area but in all aspect of our lives. You see, if ordinary people could have the best of both worlds, how much more, an extraordinary person like you? I’ll be excited for you when that day comes. And I am praying it will be very soon. Don’t be afraid to take chances. Our wishes and dreams don’t just remain that way, because we are to act it upon and work for it to make it come true. If you wished for freedom, you have to work on it. If you wished for love, you have to fight for it…”
He always said I taught him a lot of things but it’s the other way around. He is months younger than me but he is very mature. Street smart and wise. He knows how the world works and I envy him for that.
“Remember I’ll always be your number one fan. I’ll be here for you always just as you’ll always be there for me. I know it’s difficult for us to defy time… but I will let it decide what’s best for us. For now I will be happy loving you from a distance, protect and watch over you even when you don’t know, much more than you know…”
Before my closing song he kept asking me if I’m ready. I avoided the question once again. I told him I’m still not sure, but only just to save face. While I was singing he must have noticed my eyes starting to well up in tears. He can see through me. He knew I was hurting just as he was.
I always tell him that we should keep our friendship; that I want our friendship to last forever. Perhaps after hearing the same thing from me over and over again he then decided that we both leave everything to time.
“…in time… when we’re ready…” were the only words I clearly understood when he whispered to me after my closing spiel. My thoughts are hazy thinking that the night I got to be with him longer than the usual is over. I just nodded and put his hand on my forehead. He did the same.
We might have made the right choice… but the right choice isn’t always something that will make us happy…
If only I became more honest and told him what I truly feel… if only I am bound to obedience only to my heart…
I heard Mother knocking. Wiping my tears, I hid the letter inside my bag and tried to compose myself. She would ask why I was crying. And when we got home she’ll talk to me about him again.
“I have nothing against him personally, alam mo ‘yan.” I remember her telling me for the nth time days ago. “Mabait siyang bata and we could see he’s sincere dahil sobrang inaalagaan ka niya. Kaya ko sinasabing I prefer a non-showbiz guy for you dahil sa mga sitwasyong ‘di maiiwasan. I just don’t want you to suffer from a lot of emotional trouble…”
Blah blah blah. I plugged my earphones so I wouldn’t hear anymore. Sabi nila, nasa akin pa rin ang desisyon. But that doesn’t seem to be the case…
I went out of the washroom wearing the usual sweet smile they see in me. Maybe I should breathe in and let go… Perhaps he was right that time will decide what’s best for us.
But it still is painful…
I don’t know how we got home. I pretended to sleep in the van so they couldn’t talk to me. I’ll be celebrating my birthday abroad. Work and vacation at the same time. After my commercial shoot, my itinerary’s full. There are lots of beautiful places there where we could go and shopping’s great too.
Gifts will overflow alright, but I had enough material gifts to last me a lifetime. I simply want a happy birthday… I want to be with my happiness on my birthday… I want HIM.
My tears fell again.
“Hey, bro! Saan ka pupunta?”
I heard my friends calling my name but I ignored them. They thought I’d be sleeping. I told them I’m a call it an early night and they could just go on with the victory party for as long as they want.
Yeah, what a game it was. My team won. I never doubted that one bit. Talk about a warrior winning the war when he’s badly wounded— especially when he’s badly wounded…
My brother followed me as I dashed to the garage, question in his eyes. I gave him one last look before I leave, and without saying a word he understood. The look in my eyes says it’s about her. He nodded and went back to where the boys are.
My tires screeched as I hurriedly got off of the garage. I drove like the devil was chasing me. I still don’t know what to tell her, still not sure what to do. My hands are cold, and though I’m driving almost 120 k/h I can hear my heartbeat through my chest.
Red traffic light. I stopped at the same time took a deep breath. I tightened my grip on the steering wheel and tried to calm down. I prayed that she would talk to me, and that her parents allow it. They expect not to see me anymore and things will be different now. I expect overreaction from them but… what the hell. I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.
“Man, this storm sucks.” I blurted out while I speed up my wiper. Nothing symbolizes my feelings more than this weather. It’s in chaos.
Last Sunday I wished there was no tomorrow. We were happy, like nothing happened. For a moment there, we forgot what we talked about days before. We were laughing, teasing each other, having fun with the staffs. Her parents were there and things were normal. During rehearsals and the actual production number, I took advantage of the moment. We didn’t just dance. I looked at her every time, I touched her, I enjoyed every moment when she holds me. I carried her in my arms; kissed her hair… filled my nose with her sweet subtle scent, touched her lips when I thought no one was looking…
My heart overflows with love for her. I know she can feel that. And I almost made it known to the whole world…
She insisted I was right. She agreed that we should do what we have to do. That hurt me but I didn’t let her see it. If she wants me as a friend then I’ll stay as that. Not until earlier when I saw her breaking down…
Ten minutes delayed I arrived at the building. The guard in the parking area was surprised to see me again because I was there earlier that evening to visit her at the studio. He didn’t let me enter anymore. He said they already left and headed to a party. I turned back and called one of her crew members to ask where she is. She said her friends prepared a post birthday party for her at a nearby restaurant/bar.
Buti pa sila, I thought bitterly. I have planned a birthday date for her but she got schedule abroad. I couldn’t defy that and things have to happen. I sent her messages, a long one on the day of her birthday but she only replied with a simple “Thank you.” nothing more, nothing less. We didn’t even have the chance to speak when she got back and we had a commercial shoot, and whenever we do work was all we talk about. I think we deliberately avoided talking about each other.
I parked near the resto but made sure they couldn’t see me. I waited for almost an hour until the party was over. When they were about to leave I entered the roofed parking lot. Shock was all over her face when she saw me. Though she avoided looking at me I can see the unshed tears.
I got off my car and greeted her friends. At last I turned to her, stopping myself from pulling her into my arms. I miss her like hell.
“Pwede ba tayong mag-usap?”
Her friends stared at each other. When she didn’t answer her guy best friend held my shoulder. “Bro, kailangan na niyang umuwi. Saka na lang kayo mag-usap kapag—,”
“Okay lang, kuya.” She finally answered. “Mag-uusap lang naman kami. Andito na rin naman mamaya si daddy para sunduin ako.”
“Sigurado ka ba?”
She nodded while still looking at me. “Hindi naman kami magtatagal…”
Her friends said goodbye to us, telling us to take care. We walked to my car. She sat on the hood while I stand in front of her.
“How’s your party?”
“Masaya naman,” she shrugged and looked at me. “I didn’t get to greet you kanina. Congrats. Nanalo raw ang team mo…”
There was long silence between us again. I still don’t know what to say. My foot involuntarily encircled on the ground. Before I knew it I was biting my nails again, looking like a total idiot.
“Ano ka ba? Tumigil ka nga,” She held my arm but let go as soon as she touched me. Does that need to change, too?
I love it when she touches me… when she holds me. Kahit ang paghampas niya sa akin gustong-gusto ko. I was holding her hand even at the backstage when her show ended last Sunday. Now that we’ve already set ourselves on what we ought to do, things can’t be like before. We hold back that in the process it hurts so much. The wounds cut so deep every single time…
“What do we need to talk about? Nagpunta ka lang ba dito para kamustahin ang party ko?”
I inhaled deeply and leaned my hands on the hood of the car. “What happened back there?”
She looked at me. Her beautiful, tired and sad eyes waited for more questions.
“You said they were right…” I looked at her and finally her eyes met mine.
“You told me we have to keep this friendship…” My voice started to break. The pain in her eyes mirrored mine.
“We both chose this… but seeing you cry like that?” I shook my head. “Ano’ng gusto mong maramdaman ko?”
“’Yon ba ang inaalala mo? You don’t need to feel guilty. Don’t worry. If ever there will be interviews, hindi kita—,”
She flinched when I punched the hood of my car. She covered her mouth to stop herself from crying.
“Alam mo ba kung ano’ng mas mahirap para sa akin? Tinanong kita kung ano’ng gusto mo but you lied! Worse, you’ve been lying to yourself! Hindi ka iiyak ng gano’n kung hindi mo ako mahal! Hindi mo sasabihin ‘yon kung talagang hanggang kaibigan lang ang tingin mo sa akin! Hindi talaga ‘yon ang gusto mo para sa atin!”
“Oo na!” she screamed back. “Mahal kita, okay? Mahal kita! So ano ngayon? May magbabago ba? May mga kailangan tayong gawin at ‘yon dapat ang sundin natin!”
I walked to her side and held her face. The rain falls enraged on the roof of the parking lot. At sumasabay sa ulan na iyon ang pag-iyak naming dalawa…
“Ipinangako ko sa sarili ko na hindi na mauulit ang mga nangyari noon… you know I’m ready to fight for you pero hindi ko kakayanin kung mag-isa lang ako…”
“Sinabi ko sa ‘yo, just tell me what you want at gagawin ko lahat para sa iyo… pero sinabi mong hindi ka pa rin handa…”
“Dahil ‘yon ang totoo,” she started sobbing softly. Her eyes skimmed my face as she continued.
“Hanggang ngayon natatakot pa rin ako. Until now I’m still not sure about a lot of things… pero may isang bagay na sigurado ako at ‘yon ay mahal kita…”
“Oh, baby,” I pulled her to my chest. I’ve always felt it. Now I feel it more that the words I long to hear finally came from her.
“I was going to tell you that day… that I’m still scared but I’m willing to take a chance with you… that I’ve already decided to fight for you… sa mga magulang ko, sa lahat…”
“Umiyak ako dahil hindi ko ‘yon nasabi sa ‘yo… umiyak ako dahil wala na akong magawa. Umiyak ako dahil huli na…”
“Hush,” I let her cry on my shirt. “Hindi pa… it will never be too late for us…”
For how long we stayed that way I don’t know. I caressed her hair to help her calm down. I waited until she stopped crying.
“Sinabi mo na na mahal mo ako. Wala nang bawian yan, ha?” I kissed her forehead.
“Tell me again… gusto ko ulit marinig…”
She raised her head to me and smiled. She held my face, like she always does and oh, how I missed that.
“Mahal kita. I love you…”
“Tell me the things you love about me,” for the first time I was the one being demanding. She giggled softly; embarrassed as always whenever I tease her. “Come on, tell me…”
“Actually, isa lang…” her eyes never left my face. “LAHAT.”
My smile widened. I almost lost this daily dose of sunshine, this sweet little thing— my beautiful princess, my baby girl, my joy, my life…
“I love your hair, kahit may mga puti na, I also love it kahit kalbo ka pa. I love your eyes, of course… your nose, your lips…”
“Bakit puro physical naman ‘yan?”
“Gusto mong i-enumerate ko di, ba? Isang part pa lang ‘yon…”
I laughed and let her continue. If the boys would see me, maririnig ko na naman yung,“Ka lalaki mong tao, kinikilig ka!” nila.
“I love your scent because it’s so manly; even the smell of your after shave. I love it when you’re clean shaven o kahit balbas-sarado ka…”
The sparkle in her eyes was there again. And I will never ever again let that fade away.
“I love it when you smile or when you’re in deep thought, I love it when you stare at me even when I’m not looking… I love the way you hold me, the way you take care of me…”
“Gusto ko ang pagiging matulungin at mabait mo, ang pagiging gentleman mo sa lahat, hindi lang sa akin…”
“Ano pa?” my lips went down from her forehead to her eyelids, to the tip of her nose…
“I also love your reaction when you get annoyed, or when I calm you down when you lost your temper… your mannerisms, your flaws… kahit ang mga ‘yon. Lahay ‘yon…” she shrugged. Her hands went around my neck as she continued.
“I love it when you help me kapag nag-rereview ako, I love your patience when I act like a child… you bear with me kahit na madalas kitang lituhin. I love the way you beg me to sing for you over the phone, and I love it when you sing for me kahit sintunado ka… you’re heaven-sent, you’re my angel…”
I laughed at that. My lips found hers as I whispered, “I guess I’ve heard enough for now.” I finally lost all my control and kissed her.
She parted her lips in surprise. I kissed her with so much need and longing that I almost lost my mind when she responded. My hand on her waist tightened, as the other held her nape firmly as our kiss deepened.
She slightly pushed me after a while. She covered her mouth to hide her giggling.
“What? Nakakatawa ba ang ginawa ko?”
“G—ganoon… ka ba talaga humalik?”
I laughed and touched her forehead with mine. “I’m sorry if that shocked you. You know I wanted to do that for a long time. Kung ‘di mo nagustuhan hindi ko na uulitin…”
“Gusto ko! I— I mean—,” she buried her face on my chest. I laughed aloud. Her innocence is so refreshing.
She tempted me numerous times without her even knowing it. I could use any seduction tactic on her but I won’t. When we kissed there was something else in her eyes similar to mine. Wanting…
I am like any other hot-blooded twenty-three year-old. I won’t be lying that I want her. No, I desire her. ALL of her. But like I said, I will do things right this time. I will wait for the right moment, until she’s mine, legally— as my wife.
I embraced her again and kissed the top of her head. “I love you… I might have been in love before but never did I feel this way with anyone but you, alam mo iyan.”
She embraced me. “What should we do now?”
“Tell them the truth. The sooner the better…”
She raised her head and looked at me. In her eyes worry and anticipation. “Ano’ng… sasabihin natin?”
“That you’re my woman now. Kung gusto mo ngayong gabi na. Pagdating ng daddy mo,”
“Teka, huwag muna,” she begged. “Pwede bang pagbalik mo na lang after meeting your dad?” I was about to protest when she added, “Please?”
“Sige, deal. ‘Di mo na idi-defer yan, ha?”
She nodded. “But this is all so sudden… you think we can make it?”
“…as long as you’re with me. At saka sudden pa ba ‘yung six months?” I touched her lower lip with my thumb finger. “It takes both of us for this to work, my love…”
“Akala ko ba sabi mo you’ll let time decide?”
“Yeah, I said that. But I realized He’s too busy I wanted to give Him a hand.” I winked at her. Para kaming mga sira. Kanina lang iyak kami ng iyak, now we’re both laughing.
She pouted. “Napanood mo ba lahat kanina? They all want a non-showbiz guy for me. What if nagka-boyfriend nga ako ng ganoon pero ayaw rin ng mga magulang niya ng taga-showbiz? Nakakasama lang ng loob…”
“Oo, napanood ko lahat.” I smiled silently. She’s very considerate of my feelings.
“Hmm, non-showbiz ba?” My arms went around her waist. She was looking up at me, her lips enticing me to kiss her again. I fought the urge to do so. “What about a professional basketball player, then? How does that sound?”
Her eyes widened. “A—ano?”
“Maybe a few more years from now,” I shrugged. “I’ll be able to live outside showbiz. I will graduate and play for a legit team.” I smiled and pinched her nose. “That way, I’ll still be able to provide for my family.”
“Teka, teka lang!” she was staring at me as if I’m speaking Martian. “Nasisiraan ka na ba? Alam ko kung gaano mo kamahal ang trabaho mo!”
“Kung kaya mong mag-sacrifice ng sobra-sobra para sa pamilya mo, kaya ko ring mag-sacrifice ng sobra-sobra para sa iyo…”
“Listen to me,” I raised her chin. “Noon, sinabi ko sa sarili ko na baka ikaw na ang babae para sa akin… ngayon sigurado ako na ikaw na nga…”
“It will take a while, kailangan ko munang mag-ipon para magawa ‘yon. But if they really want a non-showbiz guy as a son in-law, I will be that guy. Not a son of a politician o kung sinu-sino pa. Wala nang dapat pang iba. AKO LANG.”
For a while she was just staring at me, not saying anything. “Speechless, my dear? Natulala ka na dyan?” I laughed and was about to kiss her again when we heard squealing and cheering.
“Yeeess! Okay na sila!”
It was her friends. They got out from the other side of the resto where they hid from us. They were watching us all along.
“Kanina pa kayo nandyan?”
“’Teh, hindi naman kami umalis, ‘no?” said her gay friend. “Kasi naman kapag magkasama kayo, wala kayong nakikitang iba kundi ang isa’t-isa.”
“Ibig sabihin narinig… at nakita n’yo lahat?”
“Walang labis, walang kulang,” her friend she calls sister answered. “Don’t worry, we didn’t take pictures. Videos lang,”
“Ate!” she screamed, her cheeks turned all red.
“Joke lang,” her sister winked at me. “Tinawagan ko na si tito, sabi namin kami na lang ang maghahatid sa ‘yo. Ie-extended natin ang party mo, sis! Celebrate pa tayo dahil this is it! Official na ‘to! May love-life ka na talaga!”
Who would have thought it would turn out this way? We’re finally together! Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala. But he’s here now… at hinding-hindi na siya mawawala.
We stayed at the restaurant for another hour. Later I’ll talk to mom and dad about us. I still don’t know how they’d take it. But I’m ready now. I know we couldn’t keep it a secret especially from the gods as well but I will worry about them some other day. I’ll let tomorrow take care of its self.
I walked to the glass window and watch as the rain poured again, stronger than earlier. I heard it will last for a few more days. He followed me and embraced me from behind.
“Kailan kaya hihinto ang ulan na ‘to?” I whispered as I savor the warmth of his embrace. I know my friends are silently watching us. They are happy for me. They wished us well and told us to take care of each other.
He kissed my temple. “Marami nang dumating at may mga darating pa… but like all of them, soon this storm shall pass…”
I turned around and smiled at him. “Love… I think it already has…”
♥ 🙂 ♥
Blue Sky- Hale
Rainbow- South Border
*Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
A/N: Hello, readers! Please, please don’t forget to give proper credit to the author/writer (me, jynkitty) if you wish to copy/paste, share this to your page/blog. Thank you! ♥